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1.28.2004

my lips are chapped, but everythings good cause i dropped a class. time to breath, think, and create. im just chillin, listening to lisa loeb, soon to be listening to harrel's raps. him and his Blind Mics are puttin shit together on the other side of the state. im sure it willb e good and i cant wait to hear it. i need to get back on my game. every track keeps getting better, especially when i can get brownstone and drawstring on them. but free time is killin me right now. after this set, ill be set. all ill be doin is an audio production project (adding sound effects and redoing the announcing track on an old SWF match), and hopefully makin rap songs. oh, and editing a movie. fuck. im sitting on a gold mine, maybe not in a monetary sense, but a lot of the poetry slam footage is amazing, and what have i done with it? ah well, we'll see what happens. i might be going for a mini grant, depending upon if it takes away my chances for a major grant. i dotn think anyone cares much about mini grants, but i want something at the premiere. something concise and of high quality. and funny, to break up the drama of the premiere. but i gotta keep that major grant open, or better yet, think of an idea for one. also, next year im gonna try to do niteskool, one way or another (director or artist). we'll see. as usual, a big list of things to accomplish, and not much time to do it with. but something will come of the next few months besides a few more university credits.

1.24.2004

ive been on set all weekend. its been pretty fun. i remember what i love about production. i just wish i could do this shit during the week and have weekends free. something like that. and get paid. thatd be perfect. this is the only work i can do all day everyday and love. im learning a lot too. saul and his steadicam op b.j. are pro's from LA, they are showing us how its done, and it's been the best experience. here's what i learned - we need more lights, and we need bigger lights. peace
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1.23.2004

if i dont take up smoking by the end of next week, ill be amazed at my will power. everythings adding up, to more than i can handle. spring break needs to get figured out so it can become the light at the end of the tunnel. and quick. i played IM floor hockey tonight, and cut up the court. i probably had 20 shots, but only one went in. the other teams goalie was an overachiever, and my wrist shot was off. lost 5-4 in overtime. we'll getem next time. this whole being gone all day, everyday thing would work if i had the weekends to reset. but they are gone now. i just have to pretend like im doing something great, then it all seems worth it... im out, set at 6am. night
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1.21.2004

the brain is still fried, but not cooked yet. in 3 weeks, ill be able to stop complaining and enjoy my time. until then ill be on set, or at class, or at work, or at work doing classwork. im at work now, listening to the radio. yes, the radio still sucks. its q101 and every commercial has people yelling. 60% OFF! wtf, doesnt whoever paid for that ad know that annoying ads are worthless? the worst part about it is im sure that commercial cost thousands of dollars to make.

anyways, the new room is good, a little too hot most of the time. i guess that contrasts with outside, which is a little too cold. but there i go complaining again. seems to be all im capable of nowadays. i need to present both sides of the story- there are still a lot of good things in my life. sarah, soccer, and sleep keep me trudging through this time of darkness. i need weekends though, if im not going to have any free time during any weekday. 3 weeks of set seems like such a long time, but last winter quarter, i was on set for the first 6 weekends. how did i do that? maybe im just under some type of illusion over how many hours of actual class time i have. its the most ive ever had, and i think i t makes me feel busier than i am. theres nothing to drop though. i need it all. no way out but the end of the tunnel - spring break. lets hope the whole hot beach thing goes through, cause ill need it by then.

while driving to soccer, i played tom some of my old songs. its a shame that i dont have time for that. or at least time to make beats and record harrel and adam. thats probably the worst part about my situation. being so busy really stifles my creativity. the fall went alright, but i didnt get done even half of what i planned. the spring has to be different. i am sitting on tons of amazing slam poetry footage, and i need to get my act together before nationals comes around again. it kind of bugs me that i dont hear about whats going on with the footage i gave to poetry slam inc. its no doubt the best footage theyve ever had. and i think they owe me something for that, 'to be negotiated at a later date.' but really, i bet nothgin is happening with the footage, which is why i need to call, get the editing job, and make the videos of the finals nights myself in the spring. and that means taking 3 classes in the spring, and becoming an editing master. maybe i can even take advanced editing and turn in a finals night edit for the final project. that'd be sweet. the second class credit from my summer work. im gonna go email the psi guy now, and figure this out.
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1.09.2004

my brain is fried. im out of the house for 14 hours at a time on a regular basis. somethings gotta give, right? its also cold out and i walk 15 minutes to school. but im warm on the inside... fuck blog, im done with this
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1.03.2004

man, my blog is messed up. ill figure it out eventually. im settin up my new room. im moving in with ricardo since wills coming back. our room is pretty sweet. i got my turntable by my bed mmmmmmm. time to clean
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1.02.2004

second day of the new year and the rents late.
other than that, things are cool. just had a big dinner with the maruszaks. heard some funny things about the accidental solicitation of prostitutes, using former students, and going into kinkos and completely forgetting what state you are in. time to go look for trouble
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1.01.2004

whoa, its been a while. but hey, its a new year, time to be productive right? so here it is, day by day and night by night, doogie howser style... well.. starting tomorrow. cause its cold, im tired, and its almost four.

this was what i did for new years, according to (mf) drawstring:

02:36 am: like a rolling stone
more and more in oh four

"...i think it was when cozza showed up with the cookies and peppermint ice cream that really set it off.

i started freestyling with my mouth full of food. and it wasn't long after that boncecrusher was on 106 & party taking his shirt off and doing the worm. soon we were trying to do the worm. and then we were in the van headed nowhere. i called shannon and she was at ellen's. then i called riley's house on a whim and talked to her mom at 11:30. why not.
a caramel brother in an afro wig and elvis glasses answered ellen's door asking who we were. our names. and then told us to get inside immediately and get some ass. this is marco. the dude at the table offered of shots of blue vodka and asked for vicodin, percocet, darvan, percadan, or really any pharmaceuticals. here were two half puerto rican brothers from the same mother. one black. one white. both drunk. and they made my new's year's eve.

marco pointed me to some old looking broad sitting down. this was shannon's friend krista. she was not really as busted as i initially thought. and was very nice.and wanted matt to make sparks come out of her ass. across the table from matty was lisa. as per, she was throwing it. only she got wider since i saw her summer 2001. like twice as wide. shannon was very concerned with party poppers. and ellen was happy to see me. and i was happy to see her. i realized that ellen is one of those people i've known over half of my life. and she noted that this was the first time we'd spent new years together. word.

the rest of the night is hard to explain. i think the catalyst was a black jesus portrait on the couch. cozza had to take one for the team so to take the peer pressure off of draper and i. and i thank him for that. there was talk of weapons charges and beatdown from the joliet police. also, time served in the u.s marine corps. and something about being a registered emt. and teenage gangbanging and the ilk. the discussion took a sharp left and accelerated quickly once marco found we like hip hop. there was talk before that. about dicks. and maybe farrakahn. all kinds of shit. but once the hip hop came up, it was marco just going off. matty was somewhere shannon and krista and lisa were dancing in the living room. ellen was somewhere. and the four fo us were entrenched in rooting out the past ten years of hip hop.

midnight hit sometime. shannon and krista left sometime. but shannon was on the phone the whole time anyway. and cozza wasn't going Anywhere with krista so we didn't get invited with. matty and ellen popped back up at some point. talk of cunnilingus doctorates. and then matty related the same hip hop notes as marco. until we got into the hood tales.
up in smoke tour. backstage. ounces. vip passes. showed up in a timepiece, a wife beater, some sunglasses, khaki shorts, and flip flops and walked out of the booth laced out in source gear. laminates. backstage. pulling out ounces for mack one oh. dre.like you and me. this far. the drunker these two got. the crazy the story got. but the same story was told about eighteen times in the same sitting. it was hilarious. "snoop you first album was gangsta. your second album -was shit- no, was gangsta. your third album - was shit -yeah, was shit. and he said 'nigga, i'm getttin paid' and passed the blunt to me." when marco knocked a bottle over and poured a drink into his lap without flinching and matty started telling me about how xzibit's foundation touched him because he had a shorty, we called it a night. ellen was making goofy faces. and lisa was yelling "gangsta" every once in a while. but we left on love note. and i think we'll see these two again.

tonight was exactly the night i needed. just chilling with real folks. totally comfortable and not doing anything but being with old friends, good friends, and new friends. new year. yeah. more and more."


thats what went down. something will come of it soon. ill keep you posted.
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